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Wild Bill’s Sports Roundup!

Well, here we are. The first Wild Bill Column of 2022 to align us perfectly with springing forward for Daylight Savings Time this Sunday, March 13.
It’s been a hectic first two months since our last visit at Christmas. Everyone was riding high on the magic carpet after receiving our unprecedented year-end bonuses and the comraderie was spectacular by the staff and interns. You couldn’t even walk down the halls without a big smile and peck on the cheek from our Baywatch beauties scurrying about their work.
Our Christmas party at corporate headquarters went off so well, and the fact that The Chief was on the mend at his remote mountaintop retreat after his knee surgery, brought an intriguing proposal from the staff. “Let’s have the New Year’s Eve party here as well.”
They wanted the green light from me, and it did have merit considering we already had decorations up, the lobby was a great place to bring in the new year and watch the ball drop in Times Square, plus we wouldn’t have to worry about any of the interns going missing for two days. So, what the heck, I gave the thumbs-up amid cheers and applause, and the planning committee went into action.
I had to put the clamp on some suggestions, like turning The Chief’s executive bidet into a champagne fountain and ordering an ice sculpture of The Chief (cost restraints on that one). After bribing the clean-up crew with a couple of big bills to handle post-party duties, and getting some pretty cool music in place, the event was set.
Great party, great food and great adult beverages. The only hiccup came in early-January when someone noticed several zebra fish swimming in and out of a Cutty Sark bottle in the bottom of The Chief’s aquarium. Summer, our newest intern, said the sailing ship design sort of looked good in there, so we left it alone.
For those in the dark about the Cutty Sark, it was a three-mast sailing ship launched in Scotland in 1869 to carry wine, booze and beer from London to Shanghai and return loaded with 1.3 million pounds of tea. Obviously, the Chinese came out on top in that trade. It was the fastest sailing ship in the world, and although meant to last only 32 years, is still hanging around today in Great Britain. The name means ‘short nightshirt’ , and is also one of the most popular brands of scotch whiskey today. That probably explains why The Chief typically drinks his scotch while wearing a short nightshirt.
Yes, you always learn something when you read this column.
The mid-January heavy snow arrived on January 16, as I had predicted back in October, putting an end to all this El Nina and El Nino warm-up baloney. The snow stayed on the ground for four weeks and definitely left The Chief secluded in comfort on the mountaintop from where we received weekly pictures of the ole boy lounging by a cozy fireplace in his short nightshirt. Yes, we definitely connect the dots.
February arrived and the staff was informed The Chief would be addressing everyone via Zoom on February 2nd. The gang was on pins and needles for the reason of such an early morning time, but right on the mark, our StarCosmos CPR250 rescue director, Captain Caro, led The Chief onto his snowy front porch in his nightshirt. He mumbled something about seeing his shadow and six more weeks of bad weather, plus a short comment about misplacing his bottle of Cutty Sark; then waved and wandered back inside. The missing bottle comment led to a collective gasp from the interns, but Summer noted she knew where the Chief had hidden his bubbling Blackbeard the Pirate Treasure Chest aquarium ornament and would swap it out. Quick response saves the day, and all’s well that ends well.
We’ll now move to calmer waters with local sports where some great state champions are honored, a sports club announces its spring lineup, local ice hockey heads into the playoffs and we give you the latest on playoff runs by our “Big-11” high school basketball teams.
VHSL “Big-11” Wrestling State Champions:
Class-2: Chase Miller (Glenvar; 170 lb.).
Class-3: J.B. Dragovich (Hidden Valley; 120 lb.).
Class-4: Jacob Henderson (William Fleming; 170 lb.).
VHSL “Big-11” Indoor Track and Field State Champions:
Class-2 Girls Overall Team State Champions: Glenvar Highlanders
Class-2 Girls: Team 4 X 400 Relay (Glenvar; Adrianna Hall, Carly Wilkes, Delaney Eller, Sydney Loder)
Class-2 Girls: Carly Wilkes (Glenvar; 1,000 meter run, 1,600 meter run).
Class-2 Girls: Sydney Loder (Glenvar; 55 meter hurdles, 300 meter dash).
Class-3 Girls: Jessica Palisca (Cave Spring; 1,000 meter run and 1,600 meter run)
Class-3 Girls: Team 4 X 200 Relay (Cave Spring; Sinaya Tolliver, Laine Bennett, Aubrey  Hertzberg, Dara Ndem)
Class-4 Girls: Peyton Lewis (Salem; 55 meter dash).
Class-5 Boys: Micah Jones (William Fleming; long jump).
Class-5 Boys: Evan Langhammer (Patrick Henry; pole vault).
VHSL “Big-11” Swimming State Champions:
Class-2 Girls: 200 meter freestyle relay (Glenvar; Carly Wilkes, Delaney Eller, Adrianna Hall, Claire Griffith).
Class-2 Girls: Claire Griffith (Glenvar; 50 meter freestyle, 100 meter freestyle).
Class-3 Girls: Ava Muzzy (Cave Spring: 100 yard breaststroke, 200 individual medley).
Class-3 Boys: Connor Woods (Cave Spring; 50 meter freestyle, 100 meter freestyle).
Next, the Roanoke Valley Sports Club is set for a pair of outstanding speakers for their March and April meetings at The Salem Civic Center. Monday, March 21 is headlined by former Patrick Henry, UNC and NBA star George Lynch. Monday, April 18 brings John Freeman, the new play-by-play broadcasting voice of UVA sports. Everything begins with a 5:45 social, followed by dinner and the program. To make the required reservations go to the clubs website www.roanokevalleysportsclub.com.
The Roanoke Rail Yard Dawgs head into the home stretch of the regular season with three straight Friday/Saturday night headliners at the Berglund Center, two of which are against a pair of the SPHL’s front runners. The Macon Mayhem come to town for games March 18-19, the Huntsville Havoc hit the Berglund pond for a pair March 25-26, followed by the Knoxville Ice Bears April 1-2. Puck drop each night is set for 7:05.
State semifinal VHSL basketball plays out Monday night, March 7 at 7PM, when Northside travels to Cave Spring, with the winner advancing to the Class-3 state championship game on Thursday, March 10 at the VCU Siegel Center in Richmond. Tipoff in Richmond scheduled for 8PM.
Finally, to the mail bag where one reader is looking for a ticket scalper.
Dear Wild Bill: Do you think tickets will be easy to come by for the Cave Spring-Northside basketball game Monday night? I don’t mind standing in line.  (David, Roanoke County)
Well David, here’s the scoop. The VHSL sold the tickets online beginning Saturday. The Cave Spring allotment sold out in 3 minutes; Northside’s in 5. Read between the lines and save your shoe leather.
Until next time, rig up your mast on the Cutty Sark.
– Wild Bill Turner

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