We can quibble about the origin, even the definition or meaning of “happiness,” but I’m not going there. I am simply wondering why we have lost the knack of old-fashioned, real, down-to-earth, “happiness.”
I am not even going to make you unhappier by reciting the list of markers that prove unhappiness is all too prevalent in our lives.
How long has it been since you smiled happily or knowingly? How long has it been since you had a “belly laugh”? How long has it been since you laughed so hard it made you cry?
Yes, we can make others unhappy but no one is responsible for the happiness of another person.
If you have been thinking otherwise, feeling guilty or burdened or like a failure because someone you love, for example, remains unhappy, get over it! If you have not caused their unhappiness you cannot make him or her happy.
Happiness happens while pursuing laudable goals and purposes.
I spent an extra semester in high school to play another season of football and to improve my grades. I was late getting serious about attending college. On the crowded steps while changing classes, a fellow student, unknown to me, earnestly said, “So you are Bobby Brown; what makes you so popular?”
The question shocked me. I don’t think I ever thought about popularity. I was pursuing a goal. My grades, like my athletic ability, were mediocre. I always wanted to be a doctor and a Soldier. I had many miles to go.
My questioner was young, innocent, and naïve. As we both climbed the steps to our next classrooms, I replied, “I didn’t know I was popular.” I did not say it, but popularity was unimportant to me. The encounter happened 75 years ago.
Was I happy in high school? The year before, my final grade in Chemistry One was 41. The next semester, with special permission to take Chemistry One and Two at the same time, my final grades were 98 and 99. Was I happy? Does the Pope read the Bible?
Perhaps you have heard of the Mental Status Exam (MSE). It is equivalent to a physician’s physical exam. Essentially, the patient’s responses to the MSE indicate how well their mind-brain complex is functioning. Among the array of MSE questions and observations, are “mood” and “affect.”
Mood is a person’s internal emotional state, while affect is their external expression of emotion through facial expressions, body language, and vocal tone. Mood is the underlying feeling; affect is how it appears to others.
“Listen with the third ear,” we are taught in psychiatry. In forensic psychiatry, my subspeciality, we listen and observe with the third ear and eye, and more.
If a person, broadly smiling, says “I am very sad today; I just lost my closest friend.” You would conclude that the person’s affect is inappropriate, evidence of a possibly serious mental disorder.
What does the MSE have to do with happiness?
Reply: is it inappropriate to be happy in “A World Without Love” (Beatles, 1964)?
“Please lock me away
And don’t allow the day
Here inside
Where I hide
With my loneliness
I don’t care what they say
I won’t stay in a world without love”
Joseph Wolpe (1915-1997), one of my professors at UVA, reasoned that it was impossible to be anxious and relaxed at the same time. His systematic desensitization therapy taught patients how to relax while gradually exposing them to situations causing anxiety. It proved to be highly successful.
Dr. Wolpe’s work caused me to wonder if it is impossible to be angry and happy at the same time, except for serious mental disorders.
In America, It is “Open Mic” (microphone) Time, a distorted form of “Free Speech.” Those with the “Open Mic” spew hatred for America in imaginative forms exceeding the First Amendment. Their hatred is drawn from the deepest wells of evil.
Is happiness appropriate when:
1. Lawlessness is encouraged?
2. Burning down Police Stations are called “peaceful protests”?
3. American flags are burned?
4. The media skillfully lie?
5. Elected officials rail against each other?
6. Elected officials perpetually oppose a person, a policy, or our constitution but NEVER disclose what they support or favor?
7. 20,000 people invade America illegally as we are told “our borders are safe”?
My mother always wanted me to learn to play the guitar and sing country music. I could sing, and I sang often because my mother would say, “I like to hear you sing, Bobby. It lets me know you are happy.”
But I never learned to play the guitar. It broke her heart.
I sang my way into Dottie’s heart, always trying to sing like the Perry Como we both loved. We have been married for more than seven decades. Clinton, our youngest son, easily mastered the guitar and sings and plays like the Beatles.
One of the songs I sang to Dottie was Perry Como’s version of “Chasing Rainbows” (1939), a song about happiness:
“At the end of the rainbow there’s happiness,
And to find it often I’ve tried,
But my life is a race, just a wild goose chase,
And I am without a smile.
“Some fellows look and find the sunshine
I always look and find the rain.
Some fellows make a winning sometime
I never even make a gain, believe me
“I‘m always chasing rainbows…”
The relationship between happiness and faith in our Creator is a proven route to happiness, independent of the changing world in which we may live.
The Sermon on the Mount
“Seeing the crowds, he went up on the mountain, and when he sat down, his disciples came to him.
The Beatitudes
2 And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying:
3“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
5“Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
6“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
7“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.
8“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
9“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.
10“Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11“Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.
12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” Matthew 5:1-11.
The term “Beatitude” comes from the Latin word “beatus,” meaning “blessed” or “happy”. These blessings describe the qualities and characteristics of those who are considered blessed in the Kingdom of Heaven.
In the Bible, blessed means “happy” or “an enviable state. We say someone is “blessed” when they have good fortune. Jesus calls those who mourn “blessed,” contrasting worldly happiness with true spiritual prosperity from a right relationship with God.
This sermon is a collection of truths designed to prepare Jesus’ followers for His kingdom, which involves a lifestyle radically different from the world’s.
To mourn means “to experience deep grief.” Jesus suggests this mourning stems from sorrow over sin. Those who recognize the evil in their hearts can reach a blessed state through comfort from the Holy Spirit.
Jesus named the Holy Spirit “the Comforter,” offering solace to those who confess their sins and seek forgiveness. Those who conceal their wrongdoings or justify them cannot experience the comfort of a pure heart.
The Greek word for “blessed” means “happy, blissful,” or “to be enlarged.” Jesus uses it to describe spiritual well-being and prosperity beyond superficial happiness.
Happiness can be understood as a profound sense of joy.
Those who express qualities such as being poor in spirit, mourning, humility, seeking righteousness, mercy, purity, peacemaking, and enduring persecution will have their rewards.
They will experience corresponding rewards of comfort, inheritance of the earth, satisfaction, mercy, seeing God, being called children of God, and inheriting the kingdom of heaven.
We lose everything of value, including our faith in His son, Jesus, when reject God’s Truth.
God’s love for us in the world He created is beyond the telling of it, except as it is told in scripture. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.” John 3:16-17.
What happened to twenty-first-century happiness?
We lose happiness when we lose our faith in God.
Do not despair. God’s loving Presence is open to receive us no matter how bad our thoughts, feelings, and behavior are. God wants to hear from us, to share our grief and regrets. For those of us who have forgotten, God loves us. He wants us to feel the happiness of His love.
Robert S. Brown, MD, PHD a retired Psychiatrist, Col (Ret) U.S. Army Medical Corps devoted the last decade of his career to treating soldiers at Fort Lee redeploying from combat. He was a Clinical Professor of Psychiatry and Professor of Education at UVA. His renowned Mental Health course taught the value of exercise for a sound mind.