You know why I WILL NOT go on Facebook because I believe it feeds the self gratifying and narcissistic nature found in us all. Also I know I will think negative thoughts about all the people being “showy” on FB and I don’t want to think negative thoughts about people. I don’t want to be tempted to judge people I would otherwise enjoy. I want to love and like people and share thoughts on life, God and love with them. I want intimate one on one relationships with people where we use more than four words to reflect on the day and it’s beauty or struggles.
I don’t want to hear 300 or more “friends” tell me how great I look or how they like my pics of my trip to Disneyworld or how cute my kids are. I don’t want to see the results of a survey they did on how I drive a cool car and would not let people cheat off of me on a test. Or a survey on which Orange County Housewife I am most like – because I hope to God no such comparison could ever be made! It all seems a little like a flashback to High school. Do people really want to go back there? Isn’t life to be a progression, not a regression? Are we spending too much time back there on FB?
I am sure there are redeeming qualities found in the FB experience but I believe it often may inform people in a way that pulls them away from God and REAL life. I wonder how we might be different or transformed if we used our free time more wisely and read a good book or walked in the woods or wrote down our thoughts on some big or little things in life or shared lunch and real conversation with a friend.
What if we began to believe that it does not matter so much who we are and how much praise we get but what really matters is who God is and how much praise we give Him. In seeing who God is we may begin to understand who we are and then maybe we would no longer thirst so desperately for the attention of others for we would be full of a confidence from God. Such a light would show us how very unique and beautiful we are but more importantly how beautiful others are and more than that how very beautiful the God who created us all is.
Facebook is like anything else – it is all in how you use it. Many people probably use it for great things and they are sharing in wonderful relationships with others. BUT I wonder if like we often find with television – the bad outweighs the good.
Like with cigarettes – I wonder if we would be better off without FB. A spade is a spade.
– A Roanoker
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Dear Roanoker,
Your almost last sentence got it all correct. Facebook is like anything else, all in how you use it. I am sure you would not use it in a narcissistic way so there is no way it could be that in your case. But, if an old friend of yours from 40 years ago were to find you just because you had a page there even if you never updatde it then that is a good thing. Also, what if you find something you do want to share with your acquaintances but don’t feel close enough to send out emails to them? Post it to your wall and it is done. You will find interestingly enough that your Facebook ‘friends’ are more like acquaintances are in real life rather than normal friends.
I tend to agree with A Roanoker to a certain degree and yet…..
Saw a PBS movie recently. A new device was being installed in the home of a wealthy English man…maybe “royality”. They practiced answering it. Spent many moments just looking at it and one maid said she “would not touch it with a 10 foot pole”. The value of really new things tend to very often be overlooked by people, esp “older” people. I don’t facebook, tweeeeet, twitter, flutter, flicker nor do I squeek. But then for those that do, I don’t really care as long as they DON’T do it while driving or in other public places. I do feel these actions are ways to put ones self out there in the world as if they are so very important to others. ME ME ME….Look at ME. Well. quite frankly my dear, I don’t give a dam. (Man is that a great line or what!)
Since you don’t have a Facebook account, you aren’t aware of what it can be, and have a few misconceptions that I would like to address. Maybe you’ll reconsider.
You don’t need to have 300 friends. I have 50 or so, and 30 are family members. No one from work, although they have requested. Facebook is for friends and family for me. If your family is showy and annoying, you can choose to see less of their posts. I have a family member like that. She can be a little weird, but I don’t see most of her posts, because I chose to see fewer of them. there is a setting for that. I do if other family members make a lot of comments on a post and it becomes popular enough to make it to my feed, but I don’t see most of them. It’s like real life. You can ignore the ones that annoy you, but you don’t shut them out entirely.
You don’t have to participate in any games or surveys. FB has provided a way to block all of that. Your friends and family can play all the games and take all the surveys they want, but if you have chosen to ignore that, you’ll never see any of it. There is a setting which allows this, and I see none of it on my wall.
I see my family members asking about good books to read, arranging lunches and family reunions, letting each other know about upcoming events, and other social interactions. My niece cannot just pop over from California to share the birthday party pictures pf her 5 year old, but she posts pictures that I can enjoy. When her husband came back from Afghanistan we all got to see the pictures of their joyous reunion at the terminal. She would have had to send a few pics to her parents and sister, but the rest of us would have missed out on video of their daughter running out across the tarmac to jump into daddys arms.
And probably a LOT of the businesses that you frequent are on FB. A lot of them use it to keep you up to date on what they have and have coming up. The city and county have facebook pages where they inform the public of general events. And almost every event and festival in the Valley has a facebook. They list their upcoming shows and concerts. Instead of trying to remember to visit each webpage on a regular basis to make sure you don’t miss anything, just join their FB page, and when they have something, it will appear on your wall. Not interested in it? Just click “ignore this post” and you’ll never see it again.
I am not saying that you should replace your normal everyday social interactions with facebook, but look at it as a way of enhancing or facilitating those interactions that you are already having. By following the businesses and organizations that you like, you increase the chances of finding something to attend and do that face to face interacting that you cherish, because after all, those businesses are on facebook not because they want as many likes as they can get, but because they want you to come to them. To share in what they offer.
And your family is sharing pictures and stories and planning get togethers and coffee and lunch dates.