In December of 2023 I decided to go alcohol free for the following year. It was most decidedly not a New Year’s Resolution. Rather, it was a goal I tentatively verbalized in a year-end business planning meeting of all things. (My thought was if I said it out loud – in front of others – I’d have to do it.) A dear friend told me she would have much preferred to tell people after the fact so that if she didn’t do it, no one would know! Believe me, this occurred to me too. Nevertheless, I said it out loud.
I was inspired actually by a podcast on the topic of alcohol use – an interview with performance coach Andy Ramage. This particular segment occurred 10 years after he had given up alcohol for a year and hadn’t had so much as a sip since. In contrast to everything else I had read and heard about alcohol being toxic, even a potential carcinogen; a sleep disruptor; contributor to weight gain; creator of hangovers; and destroyer of relationships, Andy offered up all the benefits of living without alcohol.
THIS got my attention.
I even liked the term “Alcohol Free” better than saying I was “quitting” or “giving up” alcohol. Alcohol Free sounded way more achievable and almost appealing.
Not that I wasn’t “slightly” nervous about the upcoming year. I did have several weddings to attend after all. How in the world was I going to dance? How was I going to abstain when everyone else was imbibing – in any situation for that matter? I’m more of an extrovert so I had never relied on “liquid courage” in social situations . . . but still.
A couple months after my granddaughter Ada died on the day she was born in February 2023, I asked God to “deliver me from all fretfulness” as expressed in John Baillie’s “Book of Private Prayer.” (Perhaps my favorite gift ever from my husband Stuart.) My request was not for my grief to be taken away, but rather my habitual tendency to go down the rabbit hole of “what if’s.”
He answered that prayer so beautifully – in ways that are beyond the power of words to describe. Which emboldened me to ask for help with a very different challenge: deliverance from the desire for alcohol. And thankfully, He answered this prayer too.
What a year 2024 has been! It was much easier than I thought. You see, I had already drawn so many boundaries around what I would consider to be (mostly) moderate alcohol use – not drinking during the week, having only one drink at a restaurant, etc. – that I actually found abstaining completely far less consuming – both time and energy-wise. Since alcoholism runs in my family (as it does in so many others), I had strived to have a “healthy relationship” with alcohol; but what I realized is that alcohol is like a bad friend – it doesn’t love you back.
The truth is, no amount of self-will seemed to help in situations where the wine kept getting poured; and as I got older, it took less and less of it to impact my personality, not to mention sleep as well as how I felt the next day.
I try to stay active and eat well, having chosen 7 years ago to adopt a whole food plant-based lifestyle, so in many ways it made no logical sense to have alcohol as part of my life. I had given it up for 30 days at a time without difficulty; but the lasting benefits as well as the release of its “hold” upon me seemed to come after 90 days.
At the beginning I did “need” some fun substitutes and signed up for a mocktail subscription called “We’re Raising The Bar,” but no more! Although I still really enjoy a non-alcoholic “Just the Haze,” brewed by Sam Adams, from time to time : ).
In the end the most powerful thing was not my desire to “do better” with respect to my overall health nor the ability to exercise greater self discipline, but to realize how powerless I really was – and, ultimately, to surrender and yes, obey.
I began to recognize alcohol as something that separated me from God and others, as I have wanted nothing more than to be fully present for Him and for those I love. Alcohol had been robbing me of my ability to be just that – fully present in moments that are “crucial, precious and unrepeatable” as theologian Frederick Buechner aptly calls them.
So perhaps it’s not completely surprising that . . . I don’t want to go back. (I would have never predicted this is December 2023, however!) Being Alcohol Free has given me a freedom I have never known – and has been life-giving in every conceivable way.
If you’re curious about embarking on a similar “adventure,” I encourage you to pray and step into the glorious future as you are led. Each chapter you open in this journey will truly be better than the one before.
– Caroline Revercomb
