You will find me among those who want “instant gratification,” an uncomplimentary way of saying, “I know what I want and I want it now.” The “it” is mood-dependent, but mostly, “it” is gustatory enthusiasm for chocolate.
Agatha Christie’s Hercule Poirot, the bright Belgian perfectionistic detective, one of my heroes, could savor a tiny piece of chocolate and absorb, rather than chew, the morsel with a deliberate, unhurried pace described in music as Adagio, Largo, or Linto.
My appetite is not ravenous, but the foods I find gratifying range from turkey sandwiches to Heath Bars, the present “it.”
Let me explain it this way: if I were standing at attention in a military formation and heard the following General Order Number One, my obedience would be swift.
“All Officers and Enlisted personnel with one or more of the following issues will FALL OUT and immediately meet with the Unit Chaplain: Controlling, Demanding, Entitled, Obsessive, Perfectionistic, Possessive, Self-Centric, Strong-willed, Stubborn, and Claiming to have been born a Pauper but acting like a Prince.”
Ludicrous, I agree, but at high school graduation, I was voted “Most Likely to Disappoint His Parents.”
I am trying to be honest, not proud. Improving one’s nature is admirable, difficult, and never fast if it is authentic. I profess to be a Christian; does it include my appetite?
Several years ago, at the University Baptist Church, I attended the funeral of a good friend who died of breast cancer. It was a warm celebration of her life. It felt good to sit in the sanctuary of the church where, as a University student, I sang in the choir.
The pastor told a true story about my friend. She was an engaging person who was intolerant of lint on clothing, which she compellingly removed wherever and whenever it was in her field of vision.
The pastor, my friend, and others took a flight together. Late in the flight, the captain came into the cabin to meet some of his passengers.
Admiring the captain’s uniform, the pastor’s heart sank when he observed lint on the crotch of the captain’s uniform. “Surely, she will not go there to remove the lint,” the pastor pondered.
My friend greeted the captain in her usual friendly manner. While engaging him in conversation, her hand robotically went directly to his crotch and removed the lint.
Providence, thankfully, has left me unburdened with lint removal. Mine is less subtle but just as or nearly just as invasive.
Not liking to admit it, but routine plays an upper hand in my life. A turkey sandwich for lunch started long ago.
Bob Pate, a UVA Associate Dean, was on a sabbatical at Oxford. “Bob,” he asked on the phone, “can you speak at a European conference on the psychological effects of physical exercise? Ken Cooper was lined up to speak, but he cancelled.”
Dottie and I happily flew to the U.K. We stayed at the White Hart Hotel in Chipping Norton, located in the beautiful Cotswolds, in a room with self-service English tea and Kit Kats, a chocolate delight previously unknown to me.
“The Bunch of Grapes” Tavern, pronounced by the Brits as “Bunch of Gripes,” was populated by pleasant and charming people who took the game of darts as seriously as their “pints.”
I became an honorary member of the Bunch of Grapes Dart Team and wore their emblem on my jacket for many years. For many more years, I could not survive without Kit Kats nearby. We are talking four decades or longer.
Recently, Dottie went shopping, leaving me alone at home without a car or Kit Kats. I knocked on a neighbor’s door, told her I had an “emergency,” and begged her to drive me to the shopping center.
“Sure, Bob,” she said, “but I don’t drive that well.”
Off we went. The neighbor asked no questions. The emergency was resolved.
You may observe, “This sounds serious; have you considered counseling?”
No one likes to see a psychiatrist, especially a psychiatrist himself or herself, but I have discussed the matter with close friends. One friend said, “To get off Kit Kats, why don’t you go cold turkey?” I was already hooked on cold turkey.
Swallowing TV news while eating my favorite foods presents a troubling dilemma, one I am trying to solve. Instead of immediate gratification, there is immediate frustrating helplessness. My sense of well-being derived from a sense of control is replaced by irritation, unrest, and panic’s first cousin, fear.
I feel helpless when I watch the news. The new administration gave me a sense of well-being, but it is inconsistent. Old political tricks and schemes to divide and conquer America contaminate the screen in the same way that small but ever-increasing doses of arsenic become lethal.
My need for reasonable, not immediate, gratification vanishes with the news. It upsets me, and the feelings last. Lengthy, disturbingly senseless TV commercials sting like lashings to my back with a whip.
I wonder if news-induced feelings of helplessness resonate with other Americans living in an era defined by immediacy. Our culture, shaped by the rapid access to information, shopping, entertainment, and communication, fosters an expectation for instant gratification—an almost frictionless fulfillment of desires.
This trend is well-documented. Psychologists such as Dr. Walter Mischel have shown how modern society increasingly values and rewards quick satisfaction.
News, especially in its contemporary format, rarely provides solutions or closure.
Instead, the news often exposes viewers to complex, troubling events—wars, disasters, injustices—with little recourse for immediate personal action or meaningful intervention. This can evoke feelings of helplessness, anxiety, and even guilt, a phenomenon sometimes referred to as “compassion fatigue.”
Our appetite for immediacy is not merely a cultural artifact—it is deeply rooted in human psychology.
The instant feedback loops provided by digital technology—social media “likes,” rapid delivery services, and on-demand streaming—stimulate the brain’s reward system, releasing dopamine and reinforcing the desire for quick satisfaction. As a result, activities that do not offer immediate results can feel especially unsatisfying and even distressing.
The primary function of news is to inform, not to gratify. News coverage often brings attention to social, political, and environmental issues that individuals may not be able to influence directly or immediately.
Constant exposure to negative news can generate a sense of “learned helplessness,” in which repeated exposure to uncontrollable events fosters apathy and emotional exhaustion.
Moreover, news media often prioritize stories with shock value or emotional resonance, amplifying distress and urgency. Watching distressing news increases anxiety and feelings of helplessness among viewers, reinforcing discomfort.
It seems both rational and admirable to want to remain informed about the world. Knowledge is a foundation of citizenship. Disengagement, while emotionally protective, can lead to ignorance or apathy regarding serious issues, but riotous protests leave me feeling prickly.
Years ago, students angrily protested the Vietnam War. In some cases, the protests ended tragically. Some students were killed by the National Guard, which was ordered to quell the crowds.
MIT deployed a more successful, science-based crowd control innovation. As the protestors marched towards the administrative building, they were forcibly “pushed” back, not with water hoses or Soldiers but with loud, painful auditory stimulation found intolerable.
The weapon deployed by the news, in addition to the sheer dreadful content, is its superhuman, overly-realistic OPTICS. It is another example of technical advancement outpacing our capacity to normally integrate it.
A German phrase used by the Weise brothers, Reinold and Ed, college roommates and dear friends, appeared in a recent dream: “Wach auf, wach auf!” sagte der Fuchs zum Kaninchen, “Hörst du das schmetternde Horn?”
“Wake up, wake up,” said the fox to the rabbit. “Don’t you hear the bugle blasting?”
In the dream, I was speaking the phrase in German. I am a dreamer who keeps a dream journal.
What happened the day of the dream?
The dream was an urgent message from my unconscious level of awareness, saying, “Wake up, Brown; it is not the news that disturbs you. It is the worldwide terrible way we mistreat each other.”
Each of us is endowed with a mind, body, and spirit. All parts of us are necessary to protect and defend the unique democracy of our country, divinely inspired as the government of and for “We the People.”
It is unappreciated by many, but our tripartite nature, needing the biggest boost, is our spirit.
Our spirit was present before our body or mind developed. Its potential for a never-ending existence is promised by our Creator, who loved us before we had a name and promises to never leave or forsake us.
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” John 3:16.
“Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! Isaiah 5:20.
“All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—everyone—to his own way;
and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.” Isaiah 53:6.
I have longed for a “Bible for Dummies,” but it was fool-hearty. Many versions of the Bible have made it clearer to me that it is not a matter of understanding the Bible; it is the challenge of obeying the will of God, simply explained in His Word.
“Sin” is always rebellion against God. His plan is plain: 1. God loves us. 2. We love God by obeying His commandments. 3. All God’s commandments are in our best interest; 4. Above all the others, we are commanded to love one another 5. We all rebel. 6. The forgiveness of our rebellion required the death of God’s only begotten son, Jesus. It was the most painful manner of death, crucifixion or being nailed to a cross. 7. Jesus rose from death, dwelled here for 40 days, and now sits at the right hand of God.
“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, 8 which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight.” Ephesians 1 7,8.
The Gospel Hymn, Let Us Have a Little Talk With Jesus was written by Rev. Cleavant Derricks, an African American songwriter, poet, pastor, and church builder. His song was sold to a publisher in 1937 for fifty songbooks. Two of the six verses are attached with encouragement to keep it all in your soul.
… I once was lost in sin, but Jesus took me in
And then a little light from heaven fill my soul
He bathed my heart in love, and He wrote my name above
And just a little talk with Jesus makes me whole
… have a little talk with Jesus
(Let us) tell Him all about our troubles
(He will) hear our faintest cry
(And He will) answer by and by
(And now when you) feel a little prayer wheel turnin’
(Lord, you know) know a little fire is burnin’
(You will) find a little talk with Jesus, makes it right
May I know the eternal love of God whenever I instantly seek gratification in every situation. May you join me in this earnest entreaty.
Robert S. Brown, MD, PHD a retired Psychiatrist, Col (Ret) U.S. Army Medical Corps devoted the last decade of his career to treating soldiers at Fort Lee redeploying from combat. He was a Clinical Professor of Psychiatry and Professor of Education at UVA. His renowned Mental Health course taught the value of exercise for a sound mind.