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SCOT BELLAVIA: A Few Observations

Have you watched a movie where all the action happens in the dialogue? Isn’t that like how our worldview develops? Events concretely occur, even to us, but it is in talking about them—in gossip or therapy or reminiscing—that we form our understanding of the action.

It is words which turn the world.

I rarely text a greeting or farewell. It’s as if I assume an ongoing conversation with everyone in my contact list. Like I’m popping my head into their office. Texting an address and adieu used to be a thing, but that was when we thought we needed to apply in-person etiquette to our flip phones.

Sometimes, people’s act of random kindness is to remind me that my backpack is unzipped. But those pockets are always empty, which is why I don’t bother to zip them. “Go help someone else,” I say.

We haven’t seen our cat since May 31 and we’re thankful for that because he was very unpleasant. It’s the best of all possible situations because now we don’t have to live with him anymore, don’t have bury him years down the road, and don’t have to see him somewhere on the road. “He’s out on an adventure,” we told our three-and-a-half-year-old.

It must be around three and a half that the parents’ bedroom becomes off limits. Because I’m discovering that is when the child starts to transport items around the house, irrespective of private property or logic.

I’m trying to figure out how to tell my sister something. The short story is that a hooker crashed her wedding. The long story is that a hooker joined the sparkler sendoff line and cheered innocuously, though perhaps intoxicatedly. She told the guest next to me, “They out here saying I’m a hooker but I’m not,” which is how I surmised her night job. I think my sister will like both versions.

“Congratulations” doesn’t seem like the right word for a kid who got baptized or for the brother of the bride. ‘Congratulations’ infers the recipient did something to deserve it. But the Bible says we’re saved by grace, not our own effort. And there was similarly little effort in seeing my sister wedded. So, instead of “Congratulations,” having been baptized and a brother-in-law through my sister, I’m going to start telling kids and brothers of fiancées, “Welcome to the club!”

When I tell people, “I’m going out of town,” they don’t ask questions and it’s mundane. But saying, “I’m going out of the country” feels like I’m asking for attention, which I don’t want. So maybe I’ll say “out of town” when I’m leaving the country. Though when they find out how far out of town I went, they’ll say I misled them.

By the way, I’m going out of town next month.

– Scot Bellavia



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