Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down. Prov. 26:20 (NIV)
Most of us realize our nation and world are plagued by conflict and tension, and the problems can feel overwhelming, but did you know there is something you can do about it? Specifically, there is something you can do by not doing…spreading gossip.
Gossip is defined as “idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others.” That is, any chatter about someone or something that does not affect you or the listener directly, especially if it’s negative, is gossip.
And the Bible is clear, in both the Old and New Testaments: don’t do it, and as much as possible, avoid those who do. Here is just a partial list of the Bible’s warnings against gossip.
- A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends. – Prov. 16:28 (NIV)
- Gossips can’t keep secrets, so never confide in blabbermouths. – Prov. 20:19 (The Message)
- A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret. – Prov. 11:13 (NIV)
- For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be….I fear that there may be discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder. – 2 Cor. 12:20 (NIV)
- Do not spread false reports. – Ex. 23:1a (NIV)
- Whoever secretly slanders his neighbor, him I will destroy; I will not endure one who has a haughty look and an arrogant heart. – Ps. 101:5 (NASB)
- Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. – James 1:26 (NIV)
If you do have a conflict or issue with someone, then try to speak to that person directly. That may be one of the most uncomfortable things you’ll ever do, and the other person may lie or refuse to talk, but at least you were the bigger person and reached out. Yes it’s hard, but as a professor told his first year dental school students, “if it wasn’t hard, everybody would be doing it.”
And for issues that don’t relate to you or that you can’t affect, just drop it. The more time, attention and focus you spend on developing your life and seeking God’s will for you, the less time you’ll have for idle gossip that occupies more shallow people.
S.D.G./S.G.D.