We are an aging, sedentary, less engaging people who are preoccupied with problems more than solutions, an observation that saddens me.
Sitting is the “new smoking.” An inactive, sedentary lifestyle physically changes the brain. It decreases the volume of specific areas of the brain needed to retain, among other functions, memory.
“Sitting alone and lonely” describes distressed, unhappy, and unhealthy lifestyles among us. Their prevalence is epidemic and vastly ignored.
Sitting alone promises a slow, harmful, and unhappy demise. The journey can be hastened by smoking, drinking, or the misuse of drugs, no matter the choice.
Approximately one-third of American adults are considered inactive, which often includes those with sedentary jobs and a general lack of physical activity in their daily lives.
From a May 2025 medical journal, we learn, “More time spent sitting or lying down was linked with neurodegeneration and worse cognitive scores in older adults, even among people who were physically active.”
Loneliness causes a terrible, unnatural feeling!
Likely causes of loneliness have identified: technology, insufficient time with family, people are overworked or too busy or tired, mental health challenges that harm relationships with others, living in a society that is too individualistic, no religious or spiritual life, too much focus on one’s own feelings, and the changing nature of work.
All or none of the above may be true, but I believe the deterioration of the close, loving family, combined with the loss of faith in God and trust in each other, are the most toxic causes of loneliness.
Aristotle (384 BC – 322 BC) wrote about friendship. He said that man (kind) is a social animal who takes pleasure in the company of others. Friendships that last are built on virtue: A and B are good friends because they want what is best for each other.
I like to watch old movies, the ones from the 1930s and 1940s, including Walt Disney’s Snow White and Pinocchio. The old movies relied on acting and creativity, less on violence, vulgarity, and distortion of the sacredness of sex.
I know nothing about the costs of producing movies. I assume they are costly. Those who support the movies cleverly weave their products into the plot.
As a physician, based on our current knowledge of unsafe substances, I cringe when the movie star, at a dramatic moment, frustratingly says, “I need a cigarette.” Looking back, if a movie star said, “I need lung cancer,” he or she would have been more correct.
Today’s movies have minimized smoking. In its place, alcohol is portrayed as the solution to all our troubles. Currently, when the actress is in a dither, she is likely to say, “I need a drink.” Science would edit the statement, “I need cirrhosis of the liver .”
Not all lung cancer is caused by smoking, and not all people who smoke will get lung cancer, but science has shown that smoking is a risk factor for lung cancer.
Vaping, a recent practice, is riskier to health than one might imagine. Approximately 50 million people use tobacco products. This equates to 1 in 5 adults. Sadly, in Europe, smoking is extensive.
Smoking in America has declined because of health awareness, anti-smoking campaigns, smoke-free laws, higher cigarette costs, and changes in social attitudes.
Not all drinking causes liver failure, but alcohol is a known risk factor for accidents, alongside breast, colorectum, mouth, throat cancer, esophagus, stomach, and liver cancer.
Most people who commit suicide leave alcohol in their remains. The majority of murderers have elevated blood alcohol levels.
Yes, “light up” has declined, but “drink up” has increased.
In the United States, two-thirds of adults aged 18 and above drank alcohol in the past year. Eighty percent of those aged 12 have consumed alcohol at some point in their lives.
This is what the facts about drinking tell us:
Binge Drinking: 17% of U.S. adults report binge drinking.
Heavy Drinking: 6% of U.S. adults report heavy drinking.
Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD): 6% of U.S. adults have AUD.
Self-Reported Overindulgence: One in five U.S. drinkers (19%) say they sometimes drink more than they think they should.
Alcohol Abuse Disorder (AUD) is a chronic disease involving uncontrolled drinking and preoccupation with alcohol. It leads to physical and emotional dependence, making it hard to stop drinking.
Treatment involves behavioral therapy, medications to reduce cravings, medical detoxification, and support groups like AA, which has a strong track record.
Alcohol withdrawal symptoms occur when someone with an alcohol use disorder reduces or stops drinking suddenly. The 20-year-old son of a good friend called his dad and happily announced he had stopped heavy drinking, had gone for a run, and within 24 hours died.
Acute alcohol withdrawal can range from mild to life-threatening. A heavy drinker who decides to stop drinking MUST SEEK MEDICAL TREATMENT IMMEDIATELY TO AVOID POSSIBLE DEATH.
About one-quarter of children in the United States may be living in a household where one or more parents have a substance use disorder (SUD), JAMA Pediatrics. This number includes about 6 million children who may be living with a parent with an SUD and comorbid mental illness.
“Children in such households are more likely to develop adverse health outcomes than their peers without exposure to parental SUD.” Families affected by addiction urgently need intervention.
The most common parental SUD was alcohol use disorder, which affected more than 12 million children, followed distantly by cannabis use disorder and then prescription medication use disorder (encompassing prescription opioids, benzodiazepines, sedatives, tranquilizers, and stimulants).
If you are lonely, try with all your heart to reach out to someone in the most virtuous way you know. Of course, your circumstances may limit what you can do.
I am thankful for good health, though I depend on a walker to perambulate. Zoom Bible classes provide fellowship, fun, inspiration, and knowledge. A local minister can set up a Zoom link for you and give you a list of classes available on Zoom. All colleges offer online (Zoom) classes.
If you are physically impaired, ask your physician for a physical therapist who can come to your home and assist you in increasing your physical activity. Any exercise is better than none.
Years ago, a UVA running back on the football team used to strum his guitar and sing “Rocking Alone,” bringing tears to our eyes:
“Sitting alone in an old rocking chair
I saw an old mother with silvery hair
She seemed so neglected by those who should care
Rocking alone in an old rocking chair
“I know some kids in an orphan’s home
They’d think they were in Heaven if she was their own
They’d never allow her to sit there and stare
Rocking alone in an old rocking chair” (Bob Miller, 1932)
There is no shortage of Bibles in America; 168,000 are sold or distributed daily. From its beginning, the Bible affirms, supports, and encourages marriage and reproduction.
In the few biblical verses cited below, we learn that we love one another or perish.
“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” Romans 12:10.
“Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.” Hebrews 12:14.
“But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” 1 Timothy 5:8.
“Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” James 1:27.
No one needs to be lonely in a community where there is at least one Christian who believes love is kindness in motion.
Robert S. Brown, MD, PHD a retired Psychiatrist, Col (Ret) U.S. Army Medical Corps devoted the last decade of his career to treating soldiers at Fort Lee redeploying from combat. He was a Clinical Professor of Psychiatry and Professor of Education at UVA. His renowned Mental Health course taught the value of exercise for a sound mind.