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Wild Bill’s Weekly Sports Roundup

by Bill Turner

Well, readers, I’m glad to be returning to print after a brief break that included a week-long stop in White Sulphur Springs, West Virginia for the Greenbrier Classic.

It was another superb showcase that brought the PGA TOUR event to new heights. Four-time major winner Phil Mickelson and eight-time major champ Tom Watson joined the field as attendance swelled to over 213,000. Although neither made the 36-hole cut, both were generous in signing autographs during their rounds Wednesday through Friday.

The ever-flamboyant John Daly entertained everyone with his outlandish attire that hopefully will [not!] make its way onto the Roanoke Valley fashion scene in the near future.

The three-night concert series once again overwhelmed nearby Lewisburg with Tim McGraw and Keith Urban on the country music side, along with the high-energy Black Eyed Peas dazzling what Greenbrier officials estimated to be 56,000 fans. The Wild One is ready to confirm that the BEP’s Fergie is more adorable in person than on TV.

High school football is set for opening night in two weeks, and the Roanoke Valley looks to have its share of top-notch squads for 2011. Early predictions from here point to Northside and Salem as local favorites. My preseason darkhorse is Hidden Valley. Make no doubt about it- several other teams look to be strong at this point. We’ll get to the weekly predictions for our eleven Valley teams beginning August 25th.

Hats off to all the dedicated players, coaches and trainers who will fight the brutal August heat before it all comes together later this month. Their efforts will be the payoff for the fans that turn out on Friday nights and Saturday afternoons each week until the final December playoffs.

Yours truly has been tabbed to be a special guest of what could easily become one of the top sporting and entertainment destinations on the east coast. Wild Bill will  be roaming throughout the Eastmont Tomato Festival this Saturday during their fourth annual celebration (see related article in today’s edition). I’m prepared to autograph tomatoes during what should be, according to the organizers, a hilarious afternoon. My apparent tie-in with the TomatOlympics was a natural. Check out for more info.

Now, for the Wild Bill “value spotlight.” There are two Monday  games left on the Salem Red Sox schedule (Aug. 15 & 22). Monday games offer $1 hot dogs–this can’t be beat. For a ten-spot, a family of three should be able to stuff themselves. And, for you big eaters, a mere $63 offers you a cheap opportunity to top Joey Chestnut, the guy who noshed down 62 dogs in last month’s Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest at Coney Island.

If we have any competitive eaters in the area, be sure to give me a heads-up on the concourse as a picture in the RSS will surely be in order to validate the attempt in a sport that is clearly underrated.

Finally, the nation has spent the last couple weeks engulfed in a stock market downturn and out-of-control national debt. The Wild Bill column wants to assist our readers with a lesson in microeconomics that starts in the dollar, rather than trillion dollar, range: Buying soft drinks.

The new gimmick on the shelf is the 1.25 liter, priced at $ 1.19. Interestingly, last week, I readily spotted 2-liters at  “Ten for $10.”

I’m convinced our nation still knows how to divide. Somebody else apparently thinks otherwise.

But, also be wary of the buy-4, get 2 free scheme. I picked up six 2-liters, which meant my adjusted unit price was 67 cents. The fast-scan method at the checkout was erred by scanning only five. Therefore, I got one free, but was penalized by not having six scanned. As you can see, I’d been better served trying to recalculate the national debt.

Here’s a final thought to put our country’s mess in perspective. Who was President a billion seconds ago? If you said Jimmy Carter, take a pat on the back.

Now, who was President a trillion seconds ago? My history is bad, but I’ll give you a hint-a trillion seconds was 32,000 years ago. Must have been VanBuren.

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