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Of Broad Heads and Bullets and Mysterious Forces

The evidence.
The evidence.

Here is the evidence you’ve been so patiently waiting for. The irrefutable, seeing is believing proof, that the antlers of whitetail deer have the ability to manipulate both physical matter and disrupt the physiology of hunters.

Exhibit A is the bent broad head. It is from my first shot of 2014, taken in the early archery season when the leaves were still on the trees.

A doe came over the hill and got within 30 yards of my tree stand, but I could only see her when she moved into the open spaces between the trees and all the lush understory greenery. Eventually she walked into the largest opening where I would have had a clear shot, but just before I was about to shoot, she took another step, leaving only her backside visible. So I leaned back as far as I could without falling out the tree, put the dot on the spot and let the bolt fly.

The problem was that I hadn’t leaned back quite far enough, so the bolt ricochetted off a tree about five yards in front of her. I knew I had hit something because of all the sparks that few up from where the broad head hit. My first thought was that there was an unseen piece of barbed wire that had caused all the sparks.

“Stink” I said out loud, as the deer ran back up the hill side. I shook my head and gave myself a dressing down for missing my first deer of the season with an unadvised shot.

The next thing I saw was the doe tumbling down the hill. She came to rest against a rock about 50 yards away and lay in a heap. I took out my binoculars to see if what I was seeing was real. I waited a while longer, climbed down and discovered where my bolt had banked off the tree,and after examining the entry and exit wounds realized I had made a perfect double lung shot. As you can see in the picture, this broad head is really bent.

Here’s the proof. Is there any hunter who could look me in the eye and say that this shot could have happened if the deer had been a mature racked buck and not a doe? Of course not. Anyone who has ever hunted knows for a fact, that there is no way a bank shot could ever kill a big buck. Everyone know bank shots only work on antlerless deer. Duh.

Exhibit B is the 30.06 round. You’ll notice that this round has already been struck by the firing pin, and yet the bullet is still in the cartridge. Here’s the story behind this curious piece of evidence.

One evening a number of years ago, a massive buck was standing in an open area about 60 yards away from me drinking from a small pool of water. My wife was with me, and the best way we have to describe this buck is to say that he looked like Bambi’s father. It was perhaps the most majestic and perfect looking buck I’ve ever seen. When he bent his head to drink his muscles flexed and bulged in the orange light of evening, and I half expected to see Thumper come by for a chat.

I whispered to my wife to put her fingers in her ears, put the crosshairs just behind his bulging shoulders, and squeezed the fabulously sensitive trigger of my Finnish made rifle. Click. No Boom. Just click. I looked at my gun like a smart dog tilts his head while listening to a toddler babble. For a moment I was frozen in the netherworld between belief and disbelief. By the time I regained my senses and started to rack in another round, the buck had turned and disappeared back into the brush never to be seen again.

This was years before I understood how big racked bucks are able to transmit neurological energy though their antlers and disrupt the senses of hunters. For years I thought I had the misfortune of having chambered a one in a billion dud when the buck of a lifetime stood right in front of me. But now thanks to modern science I now know I was the victim of a non-lethal defensive system beam of energy that scrambled my brain.

So there there you have it, case closed, undeniable evidence.

Also, remember you send me a plaster casting of your head I will construct a customized cranial shield for just around a $1000.00 depending on the size of your brain.

Jeff Ell is pretty good at catching, killing, picking, and growing things to eat. He regularly finds bemusement in the outdoors and enjoys telling his stories to anyone who will listen. Jeff’s the author of Ruth Uncensored, blogs at pastorjeffell.com. and can be contacted via Facebook or smoke signal.

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