You’ve probably heard the phrase “You can’t pour from an empty cup,” but if you’re a mom, I’m confident you’ve tried. Day after day, we take care of our families. We pack lunches, manage the meltdowns, juggle appointments, and stretch ourselves thinner than we realize. Somewhere along the way, our own needs start slipping further and further down the priority list, and eventually, they disappear completely.
You scramble through the morning, making sure everyone eats, searching for that other shoe, and rushing everyone out the door. You reheat your coffee twice, and you’re halfway to your destination when you realize you never grabbed food for yourself. You took care of everyone else but there just wasn’t time to think about yourself.
Fast forward to nighttime when the kids are finally asleep and the house quiets down. You’re exhausted, but it seems like the perfect time to get work done without being interrupted twenty-seven times to hand out snacks, refill water cups, change a diaper, wipe a spill, and locate the remote. So you stay up later than you should, catching up on dishes, laundry, texts, or just enjoying a little peace and quiet. Sleep feels like a luxury, and you’ve learned to run on fumes.
One day you notice you feel more anxious lately, more overwhelmed. You’re snapping more easily, and your patience is stretched too thin. But you brush it off. This season of motherhood is just hard, you tell yourself. You’ll make time for yourself later—once things calm down. But the truth is, ignoring your needs doesn’t make them go away. They only get buried deeper until they surface in ways you can’t ignore.
When moms constantly come last, there’s a cost, and not just for us. The people we love also pay the price. At first, it shows up in small ways: mood swings, fatigue, and feeling disconnected. But over time, it can lead to hormone imbalances, chronic stress, anxiety, depression, and a total loss of self beyond motherhood. You keep trying to pour from that empty cup but who will take care of your family when you have nothing else to give? Our families don’t just need us present—they need us well.
When we hear self-care we think of spas, vacations, and time away. That feels out of reach for most of us. And if we are able to do something for ourselves, the mom guilt we immediately feel makes it almost not worth it. So how do we find ourselves in the chaos? Goodness knows life doesn’t have a pause button, money doesn’t grow on trees, and that mom guilt isn’t going anywhere any time soon. So what do we do?
One of the simplest, most powerful things you can do for yourself is step outside in the morning sunlight. Sounds too easy, right? Before you pick up your phone and jump into the day, make your coffee (hot tea is even better) and drink it outside in the sun. Walk barefoot in the grass. Sit on the porch. Whatever you decide, just being in the sun for 10 minutes first thing in the morning can reset your circadian rhythm, balance hormones, and lift your energy for the day ahead. That simple, quiet start can shift your whole morning.
The day comes at us quickly even with a peaceful, sunny start. This next self-care tip is quick and easy and my favorite part – it can be done anywhere and anytime. Have you ever heard of square breathing? This is what you do: Inhale for four seconds. Hold for four seconds. Exhale for four seconds. Hold for four seconds. Repeat this breathing pattern for 3-5 minutes while folding laundry, driving in the car, cooking, watching the kids play, or even lying in bed at night. It slows your stress response and calms your nervous system. You can practice square breathing when you’re in a stressful moment or feeling anxious, but incorporating it into your daily routine has long-term benefits for your mood, focus, and resilience.
When you take care of yourself, you are a better mother, wife, sister, and friend. You parent with more patience and compassion. You have time and energy left for your husband. You become an example of balance and wellness.
It’s time to stop pouring from that exhausted, empty cup and refill it. Because when a mother is restored, everyone around her begins to heal too.
Becky is a wife, mom of four boys, nurse, and Functional Health Practitioner who’s passionate about helping women feel like themselves again. After spending over a decade in women’s health, it was her own journey through motherhood that highlighted the gaps in our healthcare system. Now, she applies her medical knowledge through a functional medicine lens to uncover the root causes of symptoms and help women move from surviving to thriving. Becky is the founder of Rooted and Restored Functional Health, where she walks with moms looking for real answers and lasting wellness. Learn more at www.rootedandrestoredhealth.com